Sal Would Like To Make Something Very Clear

Hey, folks. It's me, Sal.

So, Sal's up here in this place where they get a kick out of hockey and maple syrup, which is pretty weird as it is, but all anybody can talk about is this freakin' article-thing that some guy at some sports magazine-thing has written about one of my guys.

And since everybody's talkin' about this thing, Sal thought he should talk about it too. As has been established in an earlier postin', we'll call this guy who this guy talks about in this article-thing, "B-Rod."

Now, there's no hidin' that Sal has made it obvious how he feels about "B-Rod," especially when it comes to makin' up hijink-ified photos. But, see, Sal doesn't want to be misunderstood, and he knows all of you on the internets is wonderin' what the heck this is all about. So...

Here's the straight talk comin': Sal is not the mystery guy in this article that had all sortsa bad things to say about "B-Rod."

Sal is not the guy who said that he honestly thinks B-Rod, "might be afraid of the ball."

And Sal ain't the guy who said, "Too much of what he does on the field looks...scripted."

Sal would also like to point out that he did not call B-Rod, "bush league" (that was Curt Schilling); a "hypocrite" (that was Ozzie Guillen); and Sal did not say that B-Rod "can't stand up" to other guys on the team (that was Trot Nixon).

Once, Sal said that B-Rod's "intense face" really made it look like a giant pair of elephant balls were wrapped around his head and chokin' him, but Sal only said that once. And that didn't even make it into this article-thing.

So really, folks, stop pointin' fingers at ol' Sal. He did not say all those hurtful-yet-ridiculously-observant things about "The B" that showed up in this magazine-thing. Absolutely not.

Also, some of you folks have been thinkin' and askin' if Sal is the guy who came up with that really freakin' weird idea to divide up all those folks on that "Survivor" show by their color.

Sal has no comment on that.