Sal May Have a Medical Emergency

Hey, folks. It's Sal here. Gotta level with you. Sal's a bit worried that this might be the last time you hear from him.

You see, Sal is a bit under the weather. And it's scarin' the piss outta him.

Yesterday Sal felt fine. His team (can't mention which one) clinched it's division. Sal was happy, Sal's teammates were happy, life was good. Sal celebrated with some bubbly provided by the owner. And some brewsky, too.

The good times end there.

Sal woke up this mornin' and his head feels like "Johnny D's" did when he smacked into Damian Jackson. That looked like it hurt...but damn it's funny.

Anyways, Sal was confused as to how he could feel so friggin' good last night, only to wake up feelin' like day-old bear crap today. So Sal did a little research and came up with the answer.

Sal has SARS.

Here's the straight talk comin': It seems these hockey-lovin', maple-syrup-eatin', mountie-humpin' people in this here city were lousy with SARS a couple of years ago. And now they've given it to Sal.

Sal passed his concerns onto his trainer today. I don't think the poor guy knew what to do with himself. He only managed a little nervous laughter, and then recommended that Sal drink some Gatorade and "sleep it off." I think this was the only way the guy could tell Sal that there is no known cure or treatment, so Sal should just make himself comfortable.

Sal is off to Tampa now and he hopes he can last the plane ride. Dyin' right before the playoffs is bad, but dyin' right before the playoffs in a foreign country would be worse.