Sal Is a Glass Half-Full Kind of Fellow
Hey, folks.
Sal just finished packin' because on Friday pitchers and catchers and Sal have to report for Sal's new team's Spring Trainin'. This is a nerve rackin' time for Sal on accounta he now has to learn his new team's signs. Sal ain't too good wit' signs. He was once crazy embarrassed after he mistook a bunt sign for somethin' much worse. Sal was forced to apologize to his third base coach and pay for the medical bills.
But it ain't all bad news. As a matter of fact, Sal thinks this season is goin' to be great because there are a few other things about this new team that Sal recently discovered.
First off, there's this here "exchange rate" thing in Canada. Seems everything that's worth 1 in the good ol' US of A is worth 1.163 in Canada. This might just be the greatest news ever.
See, this means that simply by crossin' the border, Sal went from a .221 career hitter to a .257 career hitter. This is crazy good - mainly because the guy who is currently ahead of Sal on the depth chart (we'll call him Phillip Jasons) is only a career .254 hitter. Take that, Mr. Myopic. That means he don't see good wit'out glasses.
What is further astoundin' is that this raises Sal's "Fieldin' Percentage" from .988 to an awe-inducin' 1.149. This means that not only does Sal make every play possible wit' no mess ups, but he is also able to field stuff that's hit at other fellas. Sal cannot wait to try it out.
Second thing that has Sal tickled is that he just found out that he now has a teammate named "B.J." Sal thinks this is the funniest thing he has ever heard. What Sal means is: weren't his parents worried about subjectin' this fella to a lifetime of jokes about that TV show wit' the guy and the monkey?
You can't blame people if that's the first thing that pops into their mind! Crazy funny.
Third - and possibily most excitin' - is the final bit of realizin' Sal did. Every spring Sal gets to pick his new "Comin' to bat intro music." It's always a good time, but this year Sal would love for you (his readers) to get involved. Sal wants new intro music that rocks .163 more than regular music.
That's right - Sal is lookin' for 100% Canadian intro music.
So far it's been a struggle. Sal can't come up wit' nothin'. So please, write in and tell Sal about some great Canadian music. He will be very grateful.
PS - no Anne Murray. Sal once tried to use "Snowbird" as his intro and he still hasn't lived it down.
Sal just finished packin' because on Friday pitchers and catchers and Sal have to report for Sal's new team's Spring Trainin'. This is a nerve rackin' time for Sal on accounta he now has to learn his new team's signs. Sal ain't too good wit' signs. He was once crazy embarrassed after he mistook a bunt sign for somethin' much worse. Sal was forced to apologize to his third base coach and pay for the medical bills.
But it ain't all bad news. As a matter of fact, Sal thinks this season is goin' to be great because there are a few other things about this new team that Sal recently discovered.
First off, there's this here "exchange rate" thing in Canada. Seems everything that's worth 1 in the good ol' US of A is worth 1.163 in Canada. This might just be the greatest news ever.
See, this means that simply by crossin' the border, Sal went from a .221 career hitter to a .257 career hitter. This is crazy good - mainly because the guy who is currently ahead of Sal on the depth chart (we'll call him Phillip Jasons) is only a career .254 hitter. Take that, Mr. Myopic. That means he don't see good wit'out glasses.
What is further astoundin' is that this raises Sal's "Fieldin' Percentage" from .988 to an awe-inducin' 1.149. This means that not only does Sal make every play possible wit' no mess ups, but he is also able to field stuff that's hit at other fellas. Sal cannot wait to try it out.
Second thing that has Sal tickled is that he just found out that he now has a teammate named "B.J." Sal thinks this is the funniest thing he has ever heard. What Sal means is: weren't his parents worried about subjectin' this fella to a lifetime of jokes about that TV show wit' the guy and the monkey?
You can't blame people if that's the first thing that pops into their mind! Crazy funny.
Third - and possibily most excitin' - is the final bit of realizin' Sal did. Every spring Sal gets to pick his new "Comin' to bat intro music." It's always a good time, but this year Sal would love for you (his readers) to get involved. Sal wants new intro music that rocks .163 more than regular music.
That's right - Sal is lookin' for 100% Canadian intro music.
So far it's been a struggle. Sal can't come up wit' nothin'. So please, write in and tell Sal about some great Canadian music. He will be very grateful.
PS - no Anne Murray. Sal once tried to use "Snowbird" as his intro and he still hasn't lived it down.
posted by Sal at 12:08 AM
8 Comments:
Hey Sal,
My two favorite Canadian bands are Nickelback and the Barenaked Ladies. I personally think that you should use Touch the Sky by Kanye West!!!!!
Sal I definately think you should use a Barenaked Ladies song...I mean common how can you NOT love that name? I don't know if you have heard their music but it would be perfect for you.
Sal, over at my blog WSBGM's we have a picture of your love child, of course it's a cross between you, Ron Jeremy, and Super Mario.
I'd go with 'blow at high dough' by the tragically hip.. although.. u may have the most clutch fumanchu in baseball history....
I got some great all maple leaf aproved songs:
Rush - Working Man
The Trews - Not Ready to Go
Matthew Godd Band - Load Me Up
IllScarlett - OneA
Great Big Sea - When I'm up
K-os - Sunday Morning
Sam Robert - Where have all the good people gone
those are all great but if you really want to impress the canicks you have to play this song :
Stompin' Tom Connors - The Good Old Hockey Game
I agree with esteban...
You should definitely use a Stompin' Tom Connors song....maybe not the hockey song though.
Try something like "Bud the Spud" or "Margo's got the Cargo"
"River Below" or "Red Flag" by Billy Talent. Both of them are rock, and Canadian
RUSH:
-subdivisions
-working man (perfect!)
-tom sawyer
-2112
The list goes on man....but the answer has got to be Rush. Heck, lead singer Geddy Lee has season tickets about 14 feet behind you. You gotta use RUSH!
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