Sal Demands Recognition
Hey, folks. Sal's gotta do some unloadin'.
(Editor's note: there was a slight delay here as Sal excused himself and visited the men's room.)
Sorry about that...now Sal's got a different kind of unloadin' to do. See - Sal's been tryin' out a new negotiatin' tactic when it comes to this whole free agency thing and he ain't happy wit' the reaction he's been gettin'.
Sal has decided to sweeten the deal for whichever lucky team signs him. Sal has promised to give said team a huge honor:
Sal has guaranteed that he will wear their cap on his Hall of Fame plaque.
Now several people - including Sal's agent, a bunch of GMs, and Sal's mom - have laughed at this idea when Sal presented it to them. This has Sal confused. He can't understand why this honor would bring the chuckles to these folks instead of teary-eyed expressions of gratitudin'.
So Sal decided to do some number crunchin' to prove these giggle-marys wrong. And guess what? As far as Sal can tell he's already a Hall of Famer.
Let's take a look at a very prominent stat that we in baseball call "Fieldin' Percentage." Here are the "Fieldin' Percentages" of some fellas who are on this year's Hall of Fame Ballot:
Cal Ripken: .977
Tony Gwynn: .987
Mark McGwire: .993
Jack Morris: .965
Goose Gossage: .925
Andre Dawson: .983
Harold Baines: .973
Jose Canseco: .971
Orel Hershiser: .946
Tommy John: .963
Dale Murphy: .980
Now let's look at one other fella:
Sal Fasano: .988
Here's the straight talk comin: while Sal will admit this is a small samplin' the fact remains - Sal's "Fieldin' Percentage" kicks the poop noodles outta these other fellas. Well, all except McGwire anyway and that's probably because he stuck all them needles in his can.
But this ain't enough ammo for ol' Sallie, so he's askin' your help. Sal is postin' a poll down below and he wants you folks to vote. Be honest - Sal don't need no charity. The question is below:
Make the right choice, Pals.
(Editor's note: there was a slight delay here as Sal excused himself and visited the men's room.)
Sorry about that...now Sal's got a different kind of unloadin' to do. See - Sal's been tryin' out a new negotiatin' tactic when it comes to this whole free agency thing and he ain't happy wit' the reaction he's been gettin'.
Sal has decided to sweeten the deal for whichever lucky team signs him. Sal has promised to give said team a huge honor:
Sal has guaranteed that he will wear their cap on his Hall of Fame plaque.
Now several people - including Sal's agent, a bunch of GMs, and Sal's mom - have laughed at this idea when Sal presented it to them. This has Sal confused. He can't understand why this honor would bring the chuckles to these folks instead of teary-eyed expressions of gratitudin'.
So Sal decided to do some number crunchin' to prove these giggle-marys wrong. And guess what? As far as Sal can tell he's already a Hall of Famer.
Let's take a look at a very prominent stat that we in baseball call "Fieldin' Percentage." Here are the "Fieldin' Percentages" of some fellas who are on this year's Hall of Fame Ballot:
Cal Ripken: .977
Tony Gwynn: .987
Mark McGwire: .993
Jack Morris: .965
Goose Gossage: .925
Andre Dawson: .983
Harold Baines: .973
Jose Canseco: .971
Orel Hershiser: .946
Tommy John: .963
Dale Murphy: .980
Now let's look at one other fella:
Sal Fasano: .988
Here's the straight talk comin: while Sal will admit this is a small samplin' the fact remains - Sal's "Fieldin' Percentage" kicks the poop noodles outta these other fellas. Well, all except McGwire anyway and that's probably because he stuck all them needles in his can.
But this ain't enough ammo for ol' Sallie, so he's askin' your help. Sal is postin' a poll down below and he wants you folks to vote. Be honest - Sal don't need no charity. The question is below:
Make the right choice, Pals.
posted by Sal at 8:33 PM
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