Sal Has Been Forced to Renounce His American Citizenship
Well, folks - Sal don't know what to say.
As far back as Sal can remember (somewhere in the mid-80s) he's believed in his hero's mantra , which consists of t'ree things: sayin' his prayers, takin' his vitamins, and bein' a Real American. Today, Sal has been forced by livin'-makin' circumstance to give up one of the t'ree.
Sal is no longer an American.
Sal can't tell you how much this here hurts him. This here country is amazin', what wit' George Washington leadin' and Abe Lincoln emancipatin' and Molly Pitcher waterin' and Jesus bein' born. But sometimes a backup catcher has gotta go where the work is, and for big Sallie the work is in this here place:
Anyway, Sal had to start gettin' used to his new maple syrup-eatin', SARs-havin', mountie-lovin' lifestyle. So the first thing Sal took to doin' was renouncin' his US citizenship. See, Sal's pretty sure this here Canada place won't let him in until he's not a US citizen. So, Sal went down to the local town square and set his passport on fire while screamin' "Sal renounces!"
So that's done.
There was only one problem: turns out Sal needed his passport to get into this new country. Sal's agent managed to work the whole thing out, though. Seems even the border guards recognize a kick-ass Fu Manchu when they see it.
Sal's agent was also nervous about Sal renouncin' his citizenship. Why you ask?
Here's the straight talk comin': Sal ain't exactly startin' the season in the majors. He's goin' down to AAA for a while. No big deal - he'll be back in the Show before long (even if it requires personal catchin'). But, Sal doesn't know what his agent is worried about. Turns out, Sal's new team (can't say which one) has their AAA team someplace in Italy, so Sal will be out of the USA anyway.
In summary, Pals: Sal is now a bush-league Canadian. Pretty mind-blowin', eh? (These here crazy foreigners like to say "eh" a lot).
But don't worry - this here guy is the only thing standin' between Sal in the Majors:
Look at them glasses! He's what we in baseball call a "dork."
Sal will be back in no time.
Keep the faith, Pals.
As far back as Sal can remember (somewhere in the mid-80s) he's believed in his hero's mantra , which consists of t'ree things: sayin' his prayers, takin' his vitamins, and bein' a Real American. Today, Sal has been forced by livin'-makin' circumstance to give up one of the t'ree.
Sal is no longer an American.
Sal can't tell you how much this here hurts him. This here country is amazin', what wit' George Washington leadin' and Abe Lincoln emancipatin' and Molly Pitcher waterin' and Jesus bein' born. But sometimes a backup catcher has gotta go where the work is, and for big Sallie the work is in this here place:
Anyway, Sal had to start gettin' used to his new maple syrup-eatin', SARs-havin', mountie-lovin' lifestyle. So the first thing Sal took to doin' was renouncin' his US citizenship. See, Sal's pretty sure this here Canada place won't let him in until he's not a US citizen. So, Sal went down to the local town square and set his passport on fire while screamin' "Sal renounces!"
So that's done.
There was only one problem: turns out Sal needed his passport to get into this new country. Sal's agent managed to work the whole thing out, though. Seems even the border guards recognize a kick-ass Fu Manchu when they see it.
Sal's agent was also nervous about Sal renouncin' his citizenship. Why you ask?
Here's the straight talk comin': Sal ain't exactly startin' the season in the majors. He's goin' down to AAA for a while. No big deal - he'll be back in the Show before long (even if it requires personal catchin'). But, Sal doesn't know what his agent is worried about. Turns out, Sal's new team (can't say which one) has their AAA team someplace in Italy, so Sal will be out of the USA anyway.
In summary, Pals: Sal is now a bush-league Canadian. Pretty mind-blowin', eh? (These here crazy foreigners like to say "eh" a lot).
But don't worry - this here guy is the only thing standin' between Sal in the Majors:
Look at them glasses! He's what we in baseball call a "dork."
Sal will be back in no time.
Keep the faith, Pals.
posted by Sal at 10:05 PM
18 Comments:
As a Blue Jay fan, I look forward to seeing you play, Mr. Fasano. We currently have no apparent style code, so what I really want to know is: How awesome will your hair be come spring training?
Congrats Sallie...glad you got hooked up with another club.
LOL sallie! welcome to toronto, eh! come say hi to us hecklers out in the right field bleachers. we ain't gonna be out there for opening day, we're gonna be around home plate congratulating gilbert meche on his wise career move.. but.. for 20 some odd games for the rest of the year, we're in the front row of the visitor's bullpen reducing the competition to tears.. (just ask bobby junks and joe-nothing papelbon)
Welcome to Toronto Sal... We look forward to a huge surge in awesome facial hair during your stay, as your style will no doubt rub off on folks across Canada...
And let me set your mind at ease, we sent Celine Dion to Vegas so you won't have to deal with her at all.
Look forward to running into you at one of the awesome dive bars downtown, enjoyin' some nice Canadian brown-pop...
Sal,
Thanks for your hard work with the Yankees. It was fun having you on the ballclub.
Good luck with the Jays!!
yo, salvatore!
best news for a bluebird fan in i don't know how long. you're my type of ballplayer and i'm dying to see you hedge out a spot, if not a mile ahead of zauner, then at least a km ahead of milquetoast jason phillips.
one thing, if you're gonna be living in hogtown, be forewarned...
THE MIGHTY CORSO ITALIA!
www.torontocorsoitalia.com
learn it, love it, be it. more italians here in toronto than other place in the entire world outside of italy. do yourself a favor and make tre mari bakery your second home.
welcome, my friend!
Folks, Sal's gotta say - the love has been overwhelmin'. Sal has heard from Yankee and Phillie fans wishin' him luck and Blue Jay fans welcomin' him. Sal's also gotta say that Blue Jay fans must have done their homework: they already seem to know that Sal loves beer and Italian food and that Big Sallie has an uncontrollable fear of Celine Dion. It's just that face. It's like Jim Abbott had sex with the Crypt Keeper.
Fu Manchu,
Sal
BIG SAL,
gotta say welcome to Toronto buddy. I ahd a chat with Phillips when me n my buddy's went on a road trip to fenway and hit syracuse onthe way back..very nice guy, but im pulling for the best stache in baseball for the record. Anyways come check out our forum www.diehadbaseball.com LOTS OF JAYS FANS and fans from other places (over 1400 members). We love to talk baseball and sometimes its nic to talk to people who arent milionaires. I aso ahve a bog with my other friends so we can maybe link to each other http://fourseamer.blogspot.com but anyways,
good luck in Toronto!
WELCOME TO CANADA
My name is Esteban and I assure you that Canada has been eagerly awaiting a great man with such an amazing mustache. We now believe he prophecy is complete and we are all set to win the World Series.
I Pledge alligence to SAL!!!
Esteban
How can Sal get mad with the use of the word 'fat' when its right there in the blog title?
A peace offering to help get Sal settled in Toronto? "Sushi on Bloor" is a great little spot...if you enjoy sushi.
How can Sal get mad with the use of the word 'fat' when its right there in the blog title?
A peace offering to help get Sal settled in Toronto? "Sushi on Bloor" is a great little spot...if you enjoy sushi.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Welcome to Canada, Sal, and I am right there with you when it comes to fearing Celine Dion. I look forward to watching you play in either Toronto or Syracuse.
OK, so is Big Sal going to be our token Italian this season hired by our Italian GM?
Frank Cat is gone, no more Frank Mennochia pet.
Sal, looks like you have a big league gig!!!
Congratulations, and welcome to Toronto
Does Sal look like the sushi eatin' kinda guy?
Save that joint for the suits on Bay St. and give the man a tip for the best wings and cheapest beer in town instead (there's a great place in the north end of the city called "The Black Sheep" that I quite enjoy...)
P.S. I am officially rockin' the Sal-Man-Chu now...
Well, it looks like the "World's Strongest Man" contest will have to wait at least 12 more months before they can get a piece of the Fu'. Congrats on the signing, I'm really happy for you. The greater "Cha-nooka" area is rootin' for you.
Shawn "voo-doo" Sherman
See, Sal, the beauty with playing in Toronto is, you're not just gonna have a city behind ya, you're gonna have a whole country of more than 30 million freaking people pulling for ya.
And you've got it made in the shade, 'cause if there's one thing that we dig here in the Great White North, it's a beer-lovin', heart-on-his-sleeve-wearin', awesome-hair-sportin' son of a gun.
Can't wait to see you hit the turf at the Rogers Centre, man. This year, we're gonna take the American League by storm.
Hey Sal, nice to hear you hooked up with the Jays. Great blog, too!
Cheers from Oregon
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