Sal Plans To Leave His Heart (And His Train) In San Francisco
Hey, folks. It's Sal.
Here's hopin' everybody had a great Chrismukahza.
With the New Year right around the corner, Sal's comin' to the realization that somethin' else is right around the corner too: spring trainin'.
Here's the straight talk comin': Sal still don't have a new team to do some catchin' wit' next season. And while toolin' around wit' Mrs. Sal and the mini-Sals on the Fu-Man-Choo-Choo is awesome, Sal can't stop thinkin' about what town he's gonna call home next year.
That's why Sal's attention was grabbed by the balls yesterday when the news came out that one of Sal's colleagues -- we'll call him Big Zito, like he's in the mob -- had signed a monster-freakin'-contract wit' a Bay area team full of really tall people. Sal couldn't believe the money that Big Zito got from this team. It was insane. And it hurt Sal's feelin's.
Why did it hurt Sal's feelin's you ask, Pals? Well, let's not forget that any guy who throws the ball off the mound has got to throw it to somebody whose ass is crouched, uncomfortably, behind the plate for about three hours a night...like Sal. So, how is it that a thrower like Big Zito gets $126 million guaranteed and good ol' Sal has bubkus to show for all his hard work?
Crouchin' ain't easy, folks. Crouchin' ain't easy.
So, considerin' that Sal feels ignored and under-appreciated, he's decided to head out to the Bay area, cross that Golden Gate-thing, and talk to some of the tall people about gettin' some respect in the form of a catchin' job.
Sal even went so far as to call up Big Zito's agent to do some representin' at this meetin', seein' as Big Zito's agent seems to get everybody a crapload of cash to do their playin'.
Sal's still waitin' on a call back.
Don't get Sal wrong, he's not lookin' for Big Zito money. That would be crazy! But when Sal applies his Slidin' Scale of Payin' for Playin', he's thinkin' that a contract somewhere in the range of 3 years, $21 million should do the trick.
Pretty excitin'!
It's so excitin' that when Sal told Mrs. Sal and the Minis about the money that Big Sal was shootin' for they laughed uncontrollably for about 10 minutes.
They probably just didn't know how to react to such staggerin' news. It's a process.
Here's hopin' everybody had a great Chrismukahza.
With the New Year right around the corner, Sal's comin' to the realization that somethin' else is right around the corner too: spring trainin'.
Here's the straight talk comin': Sal still don't have a new team to do some catchin' wit' next season. And while toolin' around wit' Mrs. Sal and the mini-Sals on the Fu-Man-Choo-Choo is awesome, Sal can't stop thinkin' about what town he's gonna call home next year.
That's why Sal's attention was grabbed by the balls yesterday when the news came out that one of Sal's colleagues -- we'll call him Big Zito, like he's in the mob -- had signed a monster-freakin'-contract wit' a Bay area team full of really tall people. Sal couldn't believe the money that Big Zito got from this team. It was insane. And it hurt Sal's feelin's.
Why did it hurt Sal's feelin's you ask, Pals? Well, let's not forget that any guy who throws the ball off the mound has got to throw it to somebody whose ass is crouched, uncomfortably, behind the plate for about three hours a night...like Sal. So, how is it that a thrower like Big Zito gets $126 million guaranteed and good ol' Sal has bubkus to show for all his hard work?
Crouchin' ain't easy, folks. Crouchin' ain't easy.
So, considerin' that Sal feels ignored and under-appreciated, he's decided to head out to the Bay area, cross that Golden Gate-thing, and talk to some of the tall people about gettin' some respect in the form of a catchin' job.
Sal even went so far as to call up Big Zito's agent to do some representin' at this meetin', seein' as Big Zito's agent seems to get everybody a crapload of cash to do their playin'.
Sal's still waitin' on a call back.
Don't get Sal wrong, he's not lookin' for Big Zito money. That would be crazy! But when Sal applies his Slidin' Scale of Payin' for Playin', he's thinkin' that a contract somewhere in the range of 3 years, $21 million should do the trick.
Pretty excitin'!
It's so excitin' that when Sal told Mrs. Sal and the Minis about the money that Big Sal was shootin' for they laughed uncontrollably for about 10 minutes.
They probably just didn't know how to react to such staggerin' news. It's a process.
posted by Sal at 9:49 AM
4 Comments:
Hey Sal, you need to hook up with a #1 starter, become his personal catcher so you're always guaranteed a job. Like Steve Carlton and Tim McCarver.
Also, I nominated your blog for a "Bloggie" in the humourous category:
http://2007.bloggies.com/
Hey DB--
Sal thanks you for the nomination, but he has no idea what's so "humorous" about his blog.
And, as far as "personal catchin'" goes, Sal has made it perfectly clear on this here site that he is not a gay.
Fu manchu,
Sal
Sal- I just read the Rockies are interested in your services. You might mash 10 homers in the thin Colorado air.
Hey big sal just found your site funny eh. Man im a big jays fan can't wait to see you in canada eh. 1st title since 93 eh big sal and the jays 4 life.
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