Sal Celebrates His Peers
Hey folks. Many of you have been askin' ol' Sallie for an update on how his minor league season is goin' so far. Well, the truth is...
Sal is tearin' it up.
Don't just take Sal's word for it, though - check the stats. Look at that there OPS! Sal is well on his way to breakin' the record.
All of this dominatin' has got Sal to thinkin', though. Why is it that Sal is so crazy good in the minors...and he stinks like mid-summer jockstraps in the majors? Well, the answer is simple.
Sal is a textbook Quadruple-A player.
See this means Sal is just way too good for AAA, but he can't quite cut it in the Show. And Sal ain't alone. There have been many a-Quadruple A-ers over these here years and Sal thinks it's about time we celebrate these fellas. So, Sal has decided to create...
SAL'S BIG FAT QUADRUPLE-A HALL OF FAME
Here are the first few fellas Sal has inducted:
HENSLEY "BAM-BAM" MEULENS
This here fella hit 196 HRs in the minors. But he only managed to hit 15 in the bigs and even big Sallie managed to jack a few more than that.
But, The guy did have a kick-ass nickname goin' for him. Sal wishes he was around to make the Fruity Pebbles jokes. Crazy funny.
GREGG JEFFERIES
Sal wasted a lot of money on all of this here fellas rookie cards.
To be fair, Sal does realize this here fella actually had a pretty good major-league career, battin' .289 and all...but Sal heard all of the hype what with the swingin' underwater and the "hey, who needs Wally Backman" and, again, Sal wasted a lot of money on his cards. So Sal is bitter.
RICKY JORDAN
Continuin' on the "money wasted on rookie cards" trend, this here fella was supposed to be a power hitter but he only hit 9 more taters (Sal means home runs not taters like potatoes, because why would a fella want to hit a potato?) than Sal has so far.
Phillies fans expected more from him just because of his pedigree alone, what with him bein' the son of Ozzie and Harriet.
LAWRENCE "CRASH" DAVIS
This here fella holds the record for most home runs hit in the minors, though for some reason Sal can't find any record of it. Sal has heard rumors that Crash was so upset about not makin' it in the show that he went psycho-nuts and moved to Iowa. Then he built a baseball field where there shoulda been corn, made a comeback wit' the Tigers, and arrested a mobster. The guy's done some stuff.
So that's it. You folks can send in nominations for the next induction ceremony. And keep an eye on big Sallie's OPS.
Sal is tearin' it up.
Don't just take Sal's word for it, though - check the stats. Look at that there OPS! Sal is well on his way to breakin' the record.
All of this dominatin' has got Sal to thinkin', though. Why is it that Sal is so crazy good in the minors...and he stinks like mid-summer jockstraps in the majors? Well, the answer is simple.
Sal is a textbook Quadruple-A player.
See this means Sal is just way too good for AAA, but he can't quite cut it in the Show. And Sal ain't alone. There have been many a-Quadruple A-ers over these here years and Sal thinks it's about time we celebrate these fellas. So, Sal has decided to create...
SAL'S BIG FAT QUADRUPLE-A HALL OF FAME
Here are the first few fellas Sal has inducted:
HENSLEY "BAM-BAM" MEULENS
This here fella hit 196 HRs in the minors. But he only managed to hit 15 in the bigs and even big Sallie managed to jack a few more than that.
But, The guy did have a kick-ass nickname goin' for him. Sal wishes he was around to make the Fruity Pebbles jokes. Crazy funny.
GREGG JEFFERIES
Sal wasted a lot of money on all of this here fellas rookie cards.
To be fair, Sal does realize this here fella actually had a pretty good major-league career, battin' .289 and all...but Sal heard all of the hype what with the swingin' underwater and the "hey, who needs Wally Backman" and, again, Sal wasted a lot of money on his cards. So Sal is bitter.
RICKY JORDAN
Continuin' on the "money wasted on rookie cards" trend, this here fella was supposed to be a power hitter but he only hit 9 more taters (Sal means home runs not taters like potatoes, because why would a fella want to hit a potato?) than Sal has so far.
Phillies fans expected more from him just because of his pedigree alone, what with him bein' the son of Ozzie and Harriet.
LAWRENCE "CRASH" DAVIS
This here fella holds the record for most home runs hit in the minors, though for some reason Sal can't find any record of it. Sal has heard rumors that Crash was so upset about not makin' it in the show that he went psycho-nuts and moved to Iowa. Then he built a baseball field where there shoulda been corn, made a comeback wit' the Tigers, and arrested a mobster. The guy's done some stuff.
So that's it. You folks can send in nominations for the next induction ceremony. And keep an eye on big Sallie's OPS.
posted by Sal at 10:29 PM
4 Comments:
Keep on tearing it up in AAA, Sal. You'll be back in the majors in no time!
This is some funny stuff. I think I like this fictional Sal Fasano more than the real one (although the real one is pretty cool too)
bubba-crosby.blogspot.com
Phillip Jaysons got the start yestday and sucked, look out dome here comes sal
I was lucky enough to have Sal as my catcher for a short time in the minors and I got a chance to see him last year in Reno. Thanks again for the tickets Sal. Congrats on the new job. You ever need a coach let me know! Call Flury and get my number.
Thanks again. Ray Roberts
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