Sal Has Decided to Pass on a Recent Offer

Hi Folks, it's baseball's newest free agent: Sal.

That's right - after much of what we in baseball call "soul searchin'," Sal has decided to test the free agent market to see what kinda cash teams are willin' to give him, so's Sal can buy stuff for Mrs. Sal and the little Sals.

But Sal wants you to know this decision wasn't just about money.

As you may remember, Sal was recently approached by a fella we called "Baron Von Backspasms" who asked Sal if he would be his 'personal catcher.' Sal was torn. This idea meant Sal would have a job where he was guaranteed a chance to start every 5 days. There was only one problem. And this here problem was the deal breaker.

Sal does not enjoy bein' sexed in his can.

Here's the straight talk comin': Sal actually considered this for a day. Sal wants to play and Sal is willin' to do almost anything to get on the field. Sal even thought he might be able to bend to the Baron wishes.

But then Sal remembered the Baron's nickname.

See - the fella's call the Baron "The Big Unit." I don't know about the non-baseball world, but when we in baseball say someone's got a 'big unit' it means he's swingin' a 54-ounce bat, if you know what Sal means.

So in the end (Sal intends no pun) Sal decided this here idea would just be too painful for him to swallow. Again, Sal wasn't intendin' the pun.

So anyone interested in a backup catcher wit' a little bit of hittin' skills and a willin'ness to grow a fu manchu, give Sal a call. He's willin' to work hard for you. Not like that, though.