Sal Has Received An Indecent Proposal

Hey, folks. Sal's back.

Sal didn't want to leave you hangin' for too long.

Some people have been askin', "Hey, Sal. What's with the hiatus?" And Sal didn't really know what to say, mainly because he didn't know what "hiatus" meant. But then, Mrs. Sal mentioned that it's like what happened when Sal's favorite TV show, "CopRock" suddenly went off the air a few years back, and then Sal understood.

Really, Sal's been away a few days for two major reasons:

Reason #1: Sal's been puttin' the finishin' touches on his off-season vacation plans! Sal can't talk about 'em just yet, because he hasn't even told Mrs. Sal, or the mini-Sals. But all Sal can say is: "Woo-woo!"

Reason #2: Sal's been readin' the papers every day, waitin' to see if he's on the ol' choppin' block. There's changes comin' to Sal's team (can't say which one!) and Sal has been hopin' to find out if he's "part of the problem, or part of the solution," as they say in the business world. So, really, how can Sal be expected to type when he's readin' so hard?

But enough reasonin'. Here's a weird thing that happened to Sal this week: Sal got a phone call from one of his pitchin' guys the other day. Because Sal can't say his name, we'll call him "Baron von Backspasms." So, anyways, the Baron told Sal that he was hopin' that next year, Sal would be his "personal catcher," seein' as things hadn't gone too well for him lately.

Well, obviously, Sal was more than a little freaked out by this proposition. What was he supposed to say? There was only one option: Sal politely declined the offer.

Here's the straight talk comin': Sal has said it before and he'll say it again: Sal is not a gay.

He wants everybody to live their lives like they want, but "personal catchin'" is not Sal's style.

Baron von Backspasms didn't really understand Sal's concern, and when Sal declined the Baron said to be careful, because if Sal didn't accept the offer he might find himself with nothin' more than a minor league contract next year.

Now, Sal knows what blackmail is, and this sounded a whole helluva lot like blackmail. And if one thing's for sure, Sal doesn't like threats. So, Sal was about to tell the Baron where he could shove his bulgin' disk when...

Sal got to thinkin' about the situation. Goin' back to the minors, or bein' the Baron's "personal catcher"?

See, Sal's always said that bein' in the minors is like sexin' with the same woman all your life...it's awesome for a while, just because you're doin' it, but after too long you start wonderin' what the sexin' is like in the real world.

So, now, Sal is confused. He's got some ponderin' to do. In the end, it comes down to one thing: Who does Sal want to have sex with?