Sal Sees Little Alternative
Hey, folks. Sal.
Sal has never been one to talk the "bullshit." He's always given you the straight talk. So Sal feels like he's gotta level wit' you when it comes to the free agent life.
Here's the straight talk comin': Sal ain't been gettin' too many nibbles in the free agent market. As a matter of fact not one major league team has inquired as to the availability of Sal's services. Sal's agent did get a call from a Japanese team, but Sal ain't too sure about that because he heard a rumor that Japanese players don't deal wit' mistakes well. As a matter of fact, Sal heard that if one of the Japanese players "dishonors" his team by making an error the rest of the guys grab him and throw him right off the friggin' field. Sal has seen photographic proof:
Anyways, Sal got to thinkin': Sal ain't ready to stop playin' ball yet. So Sal came up wit' a fool-proof plan. Sal is goin' to pattern the rest of career after his hero Al "The Mad Hungarian" Hrabosky.
Sal has never been one to talk the "bullshit." He's always given you the straight talk. So Sal feels like he's gotta level wit' you when it comes to the free agent life.
Here's the straight talk comin': Sal ain't been gettin' too many nibbles in the free agent market. As a matter of fact not one major league team has inquired as to the availability of Sal's services. Sal's agent did get a call from a Japanese team, but Sal ain't too sure about that because he heard a rumor that Japanese players don't deal wit' mistakes well. As a matter of fact, Sal heard that if one of the Japanese players "dishonors" his team by making an error the rest of the guys grab him and throw him right off the friggin' field. Sal has seen photographic proof:
Anyways, Sal got to thinkin': Sal ain't ready to stop playin' ball yet. So Sal came up wit' a fool-proof plan. Sal is goin' to pattern the rest of career after his hero Al "The Mad Hungarian" Hrabosky.
See, not only did Al have a kick-ass fu manchu, but he was also a left-handed reliever - and if there's one thing Sal knows it's that the easiest way to stick around the majors is to do it as a left-handed reliever.
So Big Sallie is in trainin'. It's gonna be a long haul because not only has Sal never pitched before, but Sal is also right handed. But in-between stops on the Fu Man-Choo-Choo Sal is gonna make his body learn how to be a left handed reliever. He's thinkin' about becomin' one of them submariners. They're crazy funny.
It's gonna take a lot of work, but Sal's not worried. Sal's body is a finely-tuned athletic machine.
posted by Sal at 12:44 AM
3 Comments:
Sal you truly are a working man's hero!
So how is your offseason conditioning going?
My suggestion to help with becoming a left-handed reliever is to either break your right arm or put it in a sling rendering it useless, therefore you'll be forced to do everything left-handed.
Good luck buddy!
A sling is a good idea, but it'll be hard keeping that fu manchu in shape with just your left hand. Could have disasterous results.
Good idea about being a lefty reliever, though. Look how long Orosco hung around.
Thanks for the shouts, fellas.
C&C - Sal won't be breakin' his arm coz Sal don't wit' pain too well. By the way - Sal is assignin' you guys a nickname. You will now be known as "The Music Factory," as in "C&C Music Factory." Lame? Maybe. But how many of your friends have been given a nickname by a real live backup catcher?
DB - good call. But you forget how Sal's mind works. The first part of Sal's trainin' is learnin' how to maintain the Fu Manchu wit' his left hand. If you're gonna be a southpaw, you gotta learn to do even the most important things wit' your left hand.
Fu Manchu,
Sal
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